Sep 07, 2015
A year ago, I agreed to write an advice column for this magazine with no idea of what to expect. I didn't know if I would be any good at it, for a start, but I was interested to see what kind of questions I would receive.
Aug 29, 2015
I am 30 and being bullied. It has been going on for two years and I have been ignoring it, not wanting to give my bully the power. This woman makes it her mission to spread rumours and gossip to manipulate our social situation. We are both participants in a hobby that involves a group of mutual friends. Unfortunately, by remaining silent in the face of the rumours, the community has labelled me as guilty. I only know this because good friends have warned me about what is going on. How do I make it stop?
Jul 13, 2015
I still live in the town I was born in and never thought I would stay as long as I have. I had a difficult childhood and always dreamed big, but was reluctant to make changes. Stability, something I never had when I was a child, proved to be very important to me as I grew older. Over the years, my friends moved away, but I stayed. I've arrived at a time in my life now where I really feel like I need to make a decision. I have a well-paid job here and financial security that I value because I grew up poor – it's hard to give that up and venture into something new. On the other hand, I really miss my friends and would like to be closer to them. I feel like I'm in a state of inertia. What should I do?
Jun 26, 2015
My husband wants to hire a Wicked camper van for our wedding anniversary holiday. I'm morally opposed to giving a penny to a company that thinks it's OK to paint disgusting slogans about women all over its vans. He won't budge and insists this is the only way, as other options are too expensive or fuel-inefficient. This is going to be our first holiday together in five years and I really want it to be special, with no drama. But does this have to mean I compromise on an issue I feel so strongly about?
Jun 22, 2015
When I was first dating my boyfriend, he texted me one night saying he was going for a drink with my friend Lisa. They had bumped into each other at a work event. I immediately had a sick feeling in my stomach. Lisa is attractive and charming (most men I know like her or have slept with her). I didn't say anything about my feelings at the time, but recently he got a text from Lisa and I got upset. I know we have a good relationship and I am probably overreacting, but I am wondering where these feelings are coming from and if I should listen to them. I trust my boyfriend, but these interactions with Lisa bother me a lot. What can I do?
Jun 05, 2015
I've been living with my partner for two years and am very happy but I really miss my own space. I am out a lot, seeing friends and while he has some social plans, he coordinates them with mine so we can spend more time together. However, this means I never have a night in alone. I long for an evening when I can cook for one and watch my own TV shows. What can I do?
May 29, 2015
My partner of four years and I are both in our 30s. When we met, he admitted he liked to smoke marijuana, but he has recently started to smoke more in my view, though he denies this. I hate it on so many levels: it's illegal, I hate the smell of it, and him when he's stoned – from a lively, energetic man, he turns into a lifeless shell. He says I'm overreacting, that it's healthier than alcohol and chills him out more than beer does. We are very different people, me quiet and careful, him exuberant and jovial. I had thought we could complement each other, but his habit is putting a strain on the relationship.
May 11, 2015
I recently lost my son to a major stroke just before his 37th birthday. There is not a day since that I haven't cried for him. I am now at the comfort level of weeping, and I try to stay strong and continue with my life. But I feel guilty for being happy when he's not here. How can I get over that guilt?
May 07, 2015
I have been married for 33 years, but eight years into the marriage I had a misguided fling. I was found out when the girl betrayed me, but my wife and I decided to stay together (we had a young baby). Now we're both in our mid-50s, and the fling still comes up during arguments. We haven't had sex since June 2001 and I'm not even sure if we still love each other. I've often considered divorce, but I'd hate to end up with nothing for a silly mistake.
Apr 27, 2015
Four months ago I met a great man. We get on famously – we both agree that it is at a very deep, soul-mate level, but he has a long-time girlfriend he lives with, who is the mother of his two kids. We both know the attraction is there, and he has been unhappy for five years now, but I have made it clear to him that I will not do anything that friends would not do unless he finds himself single. I am growing attached to him, though, and he has started making plans for us to do things together – including meeting his kids next week. I'm reluctant, because I know that if I were his partner I would be horrified. But as friends, isn't meeting the family normal?